Monday, March 06, 2017

Carole Samaha - Wahshani Bladi VC / كارول سماحه - وحشاني بلادي

Saudi Arabia Uncovered

Forgive & Forget

Forgiveness is not easy when one’s life or destiny is ruined by those who wrong him/her for their own benefits and interests …so is forgetting : it is very hard to forgive those who made arrangements , plans and plots just to ruin you in order to get to their goal … how about those who lie to you and deceive you only to make you believe that they act for your interest ,,,how about when your own life depends on something and they know yet they act differently ,,in an opposite direction to reach for their goals leaving you to misery and misfortune ,,, leading to your own doomed sadness ….
I have been thinking for some time about what my nearest and dearest people who have destroyed my life only to get to their goals … I was young when I had to listen to all of them EXCEPT my beloved father …may GOD bless his soul ,,,he was the only one who had a good heart and a pure soul ,,, he wanted me to have happiness and good life BUT all stood against him …and I was such a fool to believe their mean claims that they wanted my happiness and my welfare ….
Time went on and I grew up and grew older …trying to find my own way ,,,but still they were always  there taking and making decisions  to ruin me … and they succeeded in ruining my life or what is left of it ,,, I never stopped listening to them thinking they are looking for me ,,,taking care of me ,despite my intelligence – I was a silly fool who listen to my own enemies who come in the form of family ,,,,siblings ,,,,what a tragedy to be slaughtered by your own people like this .
NOW , the questions come here :
“ Do you forgive those who have hurt ,  wronged and destroyed you ? “  
“ Do you forget all their mean wrong acts ?”
My answer is surely “ NO “ in block capitals .
Why ?
Well .. because my sour and bitter situation in which I am living in now and for many years have been the outcome of their dirty deed ….
I am not an angel ,,, neither  a prophet ,,nor a saint ,,,I am a human being ,,,
What hurts me is that I have always been very kind , generous, compassionate , helpful and a benefactor to them all … may be this is why they all want to keep my good deeds ,,, they are very selfish .. mean and bad ..all they want is TAKING & TAKING till  the last day of my life ,,,never ever do they think of giving or at least stop taking ,,,,
 They say that forgiveness shows strength & I say it is not a matter of strength or weakness ... 
God doesn't forgive the sinners - otherwise there won't be hell ...
All those  nice quotes about forgiveness are meant for people who make mistakes or or twice ,,, YES , well all make mistakes BUT to RUIN one's life foe decades only to get to your BENEFITS  ; to use an innocent good heavenly creature just to get what you want ,,,that is SO MEAN ,,, it is a SIN that can't be forgiven ...
So , in the end  when I think and recall what miseries and hard times I have been through and what situation I am living in right now - I think that they are not worth forgiving ,,,on the contrary they deserve to rot in hell for their bad acts.......

I will not forgive nor forget ....

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