Saturday, May 30, 2015

Running Away

Running Away 

When you face so many problems in your life and no one stands with you ,,, when you are left all alone struggling to get your peace of mind and serenity ,,when you realize that you have become an easy prey for all those around you and there is no way out of all your troubles BUT to RUN AWAY ..... 
How do you react ? 
Do you run away leaving all those hounds barking loudly ?
Do you stay and keep suffering and live day and night in torture ?
Or 
Do you just try to  erase all those around you and start a new life among them and treat all of them indifferently and coldly as if they do not exist ?
Very difficult questions - especially if you are a compassionate , kind  conscientious person who  has never hurt anyone not even
 an insect ....

It has been about five years since I left my country and settled in another due to many crucial personal problems ,,, I still remember every single detailed place at home and every single person whom I know whether family , acquaintances , friends , neighbours or just people I have met many times there ,,,,
 I long and yearn to those good time I had lived there ...
A person's country and home town is just like a mother ,,,it is not easy to forget or abandon ,,, leave and forget ,,, it is part of a person especially for those patriots who love their countries and I am one of them ,,,, 
However , as I have no place to go to there ,, no home ,,,no shelter I find myself bewildered , confused and uncertain whether to go back or stay here ...
Each day passes the decision becomes more difficult ,,, it is not because I am living here all alone by myself ; it is not that I feel lonely because I spend my time just the way I like : reading , writing , watching  my favourite programmes and movies on TV , searching the net , doing all the usual daily activities and sometimes going  for a walk , shopping or window shopping ...
Whenever the idea of death crosses my mind - I have a strong desire to go back home because I want to die among my siblings ,, in my own hometown and to be buried near my parents  ....
I believe  in God  and I know that we are all destined to our way of life ,,,,I have a strong belief that our fate is designed to us by Him and we can not change it at all ...
I wonder , though - will I be able to go back home ???
Will I stay here , die and buried  in another country ???
Who knows ??? 
No one knows what will happen tomorrow .....
I just keep praying to the Almighty God to let me die at home and be buried near my my parents ...




Blog Archive