Wednesday, June 04, 2014

Why Do People Judge Others????

Why Do People Judge Others ???

In our time there has been a trend ,,, a fashion ,,, a way of judging others without even being able to realize what have those been through ....

Last week  a Friend of mine whose friendship goes back almost  thirty years  ago was helping me to move to a new apartment for which I was and still am grateful and thankful because the place needed a lot of work and without her & her husband , I wouldn't have been able to do it all by myself ,,, I told  them all this and I kept expressing and gratitude and thanks ,, I still praying to them and thanking them every time I see them ,,, I even kissed her own hand( WHICH I HAVE NEVER DONE  BEFORE IN ALL MY LIFE TO ANY ONE , may be ONLY to my father & mother ) ,,,
I have been through very difficult time on my personal life with my spouse who left me after 20 years with no reason to marry another woman and who made me leave my  home and consequently leave my  country ,,, I was displaced ... i have been through  the most difficult time a woman can pass through all by her self ,,, i am not 20 years old neither am I in good health so any one can imagine my situation travelling from one country to another seeking asylum and trying to settle down ,,,I  then had thyroid cancer and have to go through operations and treatment all alone ,, I was and still am supporting myself from my own saving of my salaries when I used to work ,,,I faced so many difficulties and hardships which can turn any one - let alone women - mad BUT with PATIENCE & FAITH in God I  tolerated all these five years ,,,
When I mentioned  in front of my friend my spouse's name and how he caused me all this and she knows all about it ,,, she got mad at me and started shouting and saying to me in a very bad and loud tone ,,  Do you think I am happy ???and then she started talking and moaning and lamenting her own luck ,,,though she has a very nice  , kind and helpful husband who has been hen pecked by her during all their  thirty years of marriage ,,, he never refused her a request ,,, she always nags at him and quarrels with him and he keeps silent ,,,
well , till here nothing unusual because I am well aware of her nature and personality and I know that she always tries to look as the bad luck girl who should have got a better marriage and she has always been comparing herself with those above her in everything ,,, in fact she always overestimates herself and that is her own concern ...
Throughout my life , people have described me of all sorts of positive and good things ,,,kind , compassionate , helpful, pious, delicate , good - hearted , gentle , generous ,,,beloved , loving , caring ,,, understanding ,,, wise and thank Goodness no one ever called me anything bad ,,,all this is of course due to my personality and conduct with people ,,whether my family , Friends , relatives , colleagues at work , students , trainees ,, bosses ,, 
HERE come the big surprise when my friend suddenly in all her bad mood shouting turned to me and said - You are complicated ,, you are complex ed and even my family know that ,,,
I looked at her with gazing open eyes and said nothing ,,,,
Tears went on my cheeks like drops of heavy rain ,,, she looked at me and said in a very harsh and loud voice:
" Why are you crying ??? Yes  you are complicated ...
That night I cried and cried on my pillow ,,, I wished I could tell some one who knows me  about that  ,,, but who to tell and what for ,,, what difference will it make even if I tell any one 
I wonder  why do people JUDGE  others and how can anyone put themselves into others ' shoes if they have not been through their journey ,,,

That word still makes an ECHO into my ears ,,,  days passed and then one day I told her .... so you think I am complicated ,,, have you been through what I have been through ... ???? She looked at me ironically and said nothing with a mean  vicious  yellow smile on her face ,, I realized ,,now she is victorious ,,, she must have emptied her venom inside my soul to get her revenge ,,, I know she is always jealous of me ever since we knew each other - when they moved to the neighbourhood and she she heard that  I was studying  in England , she went to my mother  and  asked her  if it was OK to take my address to write to me and get to know me and be friend with me   ,,, then my mother called me and said that there was a new people coming next door and there was a young girl as my age who wants to write to me so I said OK ,,, this is how we get to know each other ,,, when I  finished my studies and  went back home we became friends but she was always trying to copy me ,,, I helped her a lot in her post graduate studies but she never mentioned nor said a word of thanks ,,,she has been a benefited  person all through  they years and now it is the first time that she is doing me this favour ,,,
Now my question is :

Wouldn't it be better if one mind  his / her own business ???

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