Tuesday, February 26, 2013

When You Feel You Are A Stranger Among Your Own People

When You Feel You Are A Stranger Among Your Own People

Believe it or not sometimes you suddenly realize that despite the long time in which you have lived with your own family ,,,you find yourself detached , far away from those with whom you spent a life time, a stranger among your own people ,,,,you suddenly are awakened to see how different  and ambiguous , strange and odd, unable to comprehend and  mix  from your own family ,,, it could be a small event ,, a discussion , a talk , a gathering , a concept ,,,,or any minor and simple matter which wakens you up and which makes you realize that you have been living in an illusion ,,, a play  in which the actors  suddenly stopped because they could not carry on their parts ,, they forgot their role ,, they paralyzed because they were made of wax , wood   or lifeless components ,,,you have been only a spectator ,, a listener whom no one considered as part of the group ... you were no more than a doll , a statue , a director ,,or may be a producer ,,, who knows who you were , are , or will be ???
When you are in such a state of mind ,, such a condition  of emotion ,, such a blackout ,,,or shall I say a lightening after a blackout ,,,how would you behave and how would you react ,,,when you realize that you have been talking in another code ,,, you have speaking a completely different language ,,, and that all those around you never care but to make the play going on though it had stopped ,,, how do feel and how do you react ,,, how can you carry on as if nothing changed when deep down into your heart a big profound deep wound has been opened by a rusty knife that had been stuck so deeply  that it has become impossible to take out ,,, ,how can you erase all this from your memory and how can you carry on as if nothing happened ,,

One of the Almighty's greatest creations is the human  brain,,, no computer ,, no smart gadget ,,  no   invention can beat it nor be as intelligent as it ,,, it also has the greatest gift of life = love ,, sympathy , feelings ,,,so once  any disturbance in  this sensory = the feelings = occurs ,, the whole being is disturbed ,,,I recall here the story of the Chinese emperor who has a beautiful bird whom he love s a lot and one day some one brought him a present which was a mechanical bird which sings all the time constantly without stopping ,,, so the emperor preferred this bird and neglected the living bird ,,, the latter got sick and became very sad ,,, until one day the mechanical bird was worn out and it broke down ,,,so the emperor realized at the end that the living bird is better than the mechanical bird because it lasts as long as its duration and all it needs is food and care ,,, my story here is an example of the importance of the genuine  human brain ,,,which is so sensitive , full of true emotions and real feelings ,,,if I had a mechanical brain or heart I might not have bothered about the indifference and carelessness I have treated by ,,,if I have not had a genuine heart or mind , i would have been living a very happy life ,,, probably I would have been indifferent and careless as the others ,,,yet I am now having a lot of care , concern and I am hurt by all those around me by all of them were treating me as though I am a mechanical doll ... not a human being ..I was a bridge over which all of them pass to reach their goals ,,, not a single person tried to stop for some time to inspect the bricks and mortar under his/ her feet ,,, not a single one tried to look left and right to see whether the bridge needed pavement,,, whether ,, whether ,,, not a single person thought of me as a person who has needs ,, feelings ,,,a life ,,, all they wanted was to have their own needs and requirements fulfilled ,, and I was the giver not the taker ,,,never had I been a taker all my life ,,,,I was a STRANGER among my own family   ,,,among my own people ,,,and that is the WORST feeling one ever has ,,, to be a stranger among your own loved one s,, your nearest , closest and dearest ,,,
......is it the mentality ??
..... is it the education?
..... is it the way of bringing up? 
......is it the concepts?
..... is it the environment?
Or is it one's  BAD LUCK ???

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