Ever since I was a small child I have a strong absolute faith and trust in the Almighty God though I did not perform nor practice the religious rituals i.e. prayers and fasting- in the proper way as most teen angers & youth but I used to talk to God and ask Him whatever I need,,,I used to look at the sky thinking that there He is ,,, now after knowledge and awareness ,, education and enlightenment I realize He is everywhere ... in our Holy Qur'an the Almighty says :
I am closer to you than your blood vein so call me and I shall grant you all that you wish for
He always answers my prayers and that is why I am very strong inside knowing that God is with me all the time all my life ,,
After my first operation , the surgeon assured me that I was fine and everything is OK ,,,but I have my own doubts ,,, then after few days of my hospital discharge , he called to say I need a second operation to remove the nodule on the left side as the pathological test shows that it is cancer , we can not risk waiting and we have to remove everything to make sure nothing spread more ,,
I knew it ,, I said ,, so when shall I be admitted again ,, I replied
As soon as you can ,,,OK , I said ,,
Next morning at 7.00 am I was at the hospital and here we go again ,,
What really bothers and irritates me is the way those regulations and procedures followed in Arab countries and here I am referring about Amman / Jordan ..Shmaisani Hospital ,,, I have never in all my life seen surgeons, doctors , nurses and workers smoke inside hospitals and especially in the main hall leading to the operation room ,,, though I have told the nurses from the very first time I was admitted to hospital that I am hyper sensitive to cigarette smoke and that I had twice stroke and angina because of cigarette smoke which should have been written in my chart ,,,, yet when the nurse came to take me to the operation room ,,, I could not breathe and I realize that I was in a very heavy smoking area which caused me terrible chest pain and I felt the place was moving around ,, it must have been my blood pressure fluctuation ,,, I could feel my arm stiff and could see nothing nor breathe ,,, I heard cries from the woman next to me shouting ,,,doctor ,,, doctor this patient is dying please help ,,, we were stuffed up in lines like sheep waiting for slaughter ,,, I never realize the time or event ,,, All I could recall is a shaking hazy face of someone in glasses saying :
I will give you morphine ,,and I could not remember the rest of what he said ,,, just murmuring and strange voices with echos ..
What a pain ,,I woke up to see my self in the room ,, a nurse standing by me looking at my hand and trying to insert a needle ,, it was night ,,, she looked at my hand and said :
I like this hand ,, so beautiful ,,, I smiled ,,
I then realized that she was pushing the needle in the wrong place because it was so painful and the needle would not go in ,,
Please , I said ,,, you can not find a good vein here ,,I know ,,,
No ,, she said ,, it is OK ,, don't be afraid ,,,I said I am not afraid ,.,but I am sure you will not be able to insert it here ,,please do it in the other hand
After many attempts she realized I was right , however , she gave me such a pain ,, finally she moved to the left hand ?????
and here again she was pushing and pushing but it seems that she does not know where to look ,,,I kept crying please you are are not inserting it in the right place ,,, she would not listen and then she put a canola there by force ,, stuck it with plaster and it was clear my hand started swallowing ,, it hurts a lot and was changing color ,, there was a bruise already ,,, then she left and brought the syringe with sterile water and here come s the worst part ....
To Be Continued....