Then marriage emerged out of no where without planning things went coincidentally ,, circumstances played a great role in changing my mind and here comes the role of destiny again ,,,
Time flies as Noam Chomsky says and suddenly I found myself in tempests drowning me in huge volcanic storms of pain and sufferings ,,, I decided to run away from all this by traveling and leaving everything behind in order to gain my dignity and pride back and to have peace of mind and serenity from all those shocking unexpected bitter facts which turned my life into a nightmare within months ...
Travelling to another country gave me some relief so I thought as long as I will not go back home due to the new situation , I'd apply for asylum and leave my own country altogether = having all the qualifications makes me legible anywhere I like to go ... so applied and they assure me I am the best applicant and very legible indeed ,,, What else do I want ,,, isn't that great ,,,
No one in this whole world knows what has fate in store to him/her - still we dream and work hard to fulfill our so called dreams ...They assured me that within six months to two years I will be in my destination to another continent ,,,,,
Alas ,,, it has been almost three years and nothing turned out ,,as a previous staff member of the UN - I am very well aware of the administrative corruption and so ,,, I am still stuck here when so many illegible applicants have traveled within months ,,, I kept writing requests in English and Arabic ,, I am also ready to write in French if they require but most of those who work there are not that good in foreign languages ..... Then comes the blow ,,I have cancer ,,,,so now what happened to my planning ???
Now in the middle of all this astonishment ,,, I am so surprised = not because of having cancer ,,, but because of the circumstances in which I have been through ,,,now I have to take care of my health and forget about everything else ,,,
Another woman might have had a nervous break down ,be very depressed ,, , not me ,,, being a strong believer in the Almighty makes me serene and patient ,,, I do no care even if I die soon ,,, eventually we will all die ,, no one is immortal ,,, the only thing that bothers me is waiting for so many things which I might have accomplished , have I known that this will be my end ,,,
Well , who knows what could happen tomorrow ...
I do believe in miracles ,, so who knows ,, may be the Almighty will grant me another one,, He had granted me so many miracles in the past and I am a very strong believer in Him ....
All I have to do is wait and see ,,,