Saturday, November 10, 2012

When YOUR End is NEAR


What would you do if you suddenly realize that your end ,,is very ,,,near and that you will die shortly ??? It is not a joke ,,,nor a subject to discuss ,,it is the TRUTH ,,,YES , the pure truth ,,,when your doctor tells you that you are dying and your days are almost finished ,,,,

There are two things ,,,two attitudes and  it is up to the person in question to decide what to do ,,,, positive and negative ,,,most people will have negative attitude,,,moan and groan ,,cry and count the days ,,, live in panic and fear ,,, However, positive attitude is much more serene and clear ,,, quiet and relaxing because one will be meeting God ,,, what a feeling ,, what a joy ,,,YES ..I think so ,,I am looking forward for that day and I will not even count days  nor months ,,I will just stay calm ,,practice all my usual  daily activities as though I do not even know because eventually we will all die and no one at all knows when why worry .....
So ,,,here is what I have done and what I would do :  I would like to clear up anything that might cause trouble or problems to others ,,, I would like to set any one who does not want me in their life - SET THEM FREE- do things right , pay all those forgotten bills = not real bills because I am a sort of person who never postpone a thing or an action whatever easy , simple , small or even unimportant ,,, so here I mean I would put everything in its place ,,,
In the past I used to think ,,,would I reach twenty ,,, then thirty ,, then forty  and here am I I have passed half a century ,,,what  a life full of experience ,,, I have had the happiest childhood ,,, a nice youth ,,,had good relations with almost all people whom I have  known whether family, relatives , acquaintance , friends or even strangers ,,,may be one or two persons disliked me throughout my life whole  but  that is good because there are people in this universe who have enemies and a large number of people who do not like them ,,,I therefore consider myself lucky for this ,,, I have traveled ,, I have studied ,, worked in many fields ,, taught a large number of students ,,, trained also a large number of trainees ,,, I have been lucky because I did many good things in my life ,, I might regret one or two decisions I made which perhaps were the reasons behind my hard and bad  times in life ,,,then as I am a strong believer in the Almighty  I always say that everything is destined for us and that we are propulsive not facultative and that we have to accept whatever God grants us whether good or bad unless we can change it ,,,which sometimes is out of control  .... 

When I got the news that I may have only a very short time to survive my illness , I never was surprised nor sad ,,, it is so strange how I was really expecting it and therefore I decided to finish all the unfinished things in my life  ,,,set free those who do not want me in their life ,,, as I previously mentioned ,,, pay the last bill  or whatever it takes to be alone facing my end without troubling  anyone nor harming or hurting others' feelings ,, because I know and I am fully aware of those who really  love me and whom I love how emotional they are ,,, as for those who do not care I decided not to utter a single word of my illness in order to test their feelings and the answer came directly , simply and clearly ,,, they NEVER care ,,,so why keep them in my last few months ,,, it is better to SET them FREE from this chain ,,, 

I know other people might look at DEATH in another way ,,, but for me it is MY SALVATION  ,,, I am happy to leave this world as soon as possible ,,, I always loved death ,,, for me death is a new beginning ,,, to stay away from trouble and pain ,,, to meet the Almighty and have the judgment ,,, to rest 

Until my few months finish ,,I want to thank all those who supported me in this last month and who were talking to me daily ,,who prayed for me and whose souls were with me during my two operations ,,,for the kind lady who stayed with me in hospital and who was watching me in the intensive care ,,, for all those kind people who nursed me in hospital ,, the nurses and my family members who showed me how much real love and affection is ,,, and after my death I want someone who reads this blog to spread the word  & thanks for all the good people who helped me - being away from my home and my country ,,,staying here fighting  this illness all alone has given me strength and patience ,,, more faith and tolerance despite everything ,,




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