Wednesday, November 28, 2012

My Story With Cancer ( Part One)

My Story With Cancer ( 1) 
Cancer ,,,this word has become a taboo in our century ,,,when people hear that someone has cancer they run away thinking that they will get it as if it is contagious  .. not only  that but in our eastern Arab societies cancer is always associated with tragic death and therefore it causes unrest ,,, fear and panic ,,,, 
What about patients who suffer from cancer ,,, how do they react when they hear from their doctors that they are diagnosed as cancerous ,,,??
 This depends on your attitudes towards everything in life ,, as I mentioned previously there are two types of people as there two attitudes = positive and negative ,,, now who usually have positive attitudes ?
 People with positive personalities are real believers ,,who enjoy serenity and patience despite all difficulties and problems,,, those who tolerate all sorts of sufferings ,, problems and hardships in silence and strength and those are THE REAL BELIEVERS whichever their religion , nationality ,race or  color they are ,,, 
 Education here is also very important and by education I do not  mean what the  sort of degree one holds because sometimes you see a PhD holder who is less comprehensive nor understanding  than the layman ,,, so by education I mean the LEARNED ,,, the person who enjoys awareness and who accepts whatever is destined to him/her with serenity and peace of mind ,,, with patience and strength ,, with BELIEF that the Almighty will NEVER let him/ her down ,,,in addition to all this we should educate ourselves in most fields and especially the scientific and medical information and knowledge concerning all sorts of diseases , illnesses ,, infections because these are part of our daily life ,,part of us ,,, 
We should always put ourselves into other people 's shoes to realize and be prepared for the unknown because no one on this whole globe knows what will happen next hour ,,, next moment not next year = whether to  him/her personally or to the world ,,, we are living in the UNEXPECTED  ,,,
 To be a real believer in God one should be prepared for all sorts of happy as well as sad events ,, good and bad ,, there is no  COMPLETE one way line in life BUT how to tackle this when suddenly you are told that you have CANCER ????
For me , I think cancer is not different at all from any other illness or disease = it can be cured or not ,,, some people die of Cholera ,,, Influenza ,, Diarrhea,,,,,Stroke  ,,, even of  Fever ,,, eventually we will all die ,as for me I believe in life after death and I do not mind ,,I am in fact waiting for my death any moment because life is not eternal ...,,
 I think that the panic from cancer is not only because of death ,,, but because it is always associated with loss of hair ,, use of chemotherapy ,, radiation and probably of the name itself  ,,,
Last year passing by car under the bridges - seeing those posters of young bald  children with the signs about CANCER ,,, I kept thinking ,,,my goodness these are small angels ,, what have they seen of life- they are only  4 ...5 years of age ,,, what about me ,, I thought ,,I have had such a full life  I had a very happy childhood and youth ,, I had my  higher  education ,, I traveled ,,, I  got high posts ,,, I taught large numbers of  university students ,, I trained employers and officials ,,, I had good relations with  all those with whom I lived or worked ,,,  I published articles and I contributed to the society and to my country ,,, I was a successful person who had quite a rich and full life ,,,I got married,,, I am still alive and healthy ,,, what if I had cancer  instead and one of those was cured ,,, this idea haunted me ,,, and I prayed to the Almighty to cure those kids or at least one of them ,,,,
A year or so passed and I had a personal private problem which agitated me ,,, raged me ,, hurt me a lot ,,, I was under a terrible pressure , I was suffering ,, these were my most difficult times of my life ,, I was all alone running away from that problem when I felt a pain under my right chin one day  ,, I looked at the mirror and there it was a nodule which was clear and large ,, I phoned all  those friends and family members  who were suffering from thyroid problems and those who have their thyroid removed ,,, all denied my doubts saying that it should be in the middle not on the side ,,,yet I never was sure ,,, few days later the pain started on the right side and I could see the enlarge nodule as well ,,, no way  I thought   ,,, the next morning I went to the lab and asked for a Thyroid blood test ,, the nurse asked me  if I require the  three types tests ,, I am not a specialist nor a physician ,,, however I said yes ,,, 
Next morning I got results of the tests ,,, looked at the charge and average numbers and descriptions ,,, it says ,,,there is nothing wrong ,,, still I was not convinced ,,, I  had a strong belief  that I do have cancer ,,or at least a problem  with my thyroid ,,,  I  went home called an ENT ,,neck surgeon and took an appointment for Saturday ,,
On Saturday , I went to him and he checked my beck and looked at the lab tests saying there is nothing wrong ,,, 
Are you sure ,,I said ,, yes ,, it seems OK ,, may be there is an infection ,, anyway if  you insist go downstairs to the ultra sound unit to make sure ,,,
There I was at the ultra sound table looking at the picture ,, it is quite clear ,, yes,,, said the specialist there is a big nodule on the right and small ones at the left ,,, 
Do you think it is cancer ?? I said ,,, I can not tell that ,, he said ,,your surgeon will tell you ... thank you ,,I said 
Going up the stairs I thought it must  be operated ,, I came to the surgeon ,,showing him the report ,,, he looked at me and was hesitant to talk ,so to make things easy for him ,I said : 
  I have cancer and I need an operation ,, 
He was surprised ,, yes ,, I am afraid so ,,,He said 
OK ,,I replied ,, I was not scared nor surprised ,,, I was sure right from the beginning ,,,
To Be Continued  

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