Monday, April 04, 2011

What Would you do ,,,?

What would you do if you  are away from your own family and one of your dearest sisters fell ill??? If you have no choice of going back to your country for some reasons that are out of your control or that are related to your future or life ?? Very difficult situation isn't it   ?? Days pass so slowly,, minutes seem like hours ,,, telephone calls ,,emails ,, any other communication means can NEVER be of any use as long as you are away ,, seeing ,,, watching ,,being where events occur can never be the same ,, sometimes one feels like going crazy because of thinking ,,, the mind turns everything upside down ,,, I have been in a terrible state ,, I keep thinking what is happening ,,, I woke up in the middle of the night ,I have nightmares ,,
I pray to the Almighty Allah to cure my dear sister , and to give her strength to tolerate the pain ,,,, I pray for her daughter to be stronger and more patient ,,I pray for all ,,yet in this time SHE is the ONE who needs every one 's prayers ,,, sometimes I think WHY would I stay away and be in this situation ,,why was my destiny like this ,,,? Why did I have a miserable personal life which drove me to run away from my own country ,, to seek refuge in another country ,? I keep asking myself questions ,,,yet in vain ,,, things just happen and I can never analyze ,,,
 Still time is killing me ,,,not knowing the truth ,,,not being with her ,,to comfort her ,,, to talk to her ,,, What a pain ,,I feel like I am paralyzed ,, I am so helpless ,,, desperate ,,, frustrated ,, ALONE ,,, like a prisoner in a solitary cell ,, if there was no computer ,,, no internet ,,,I would , really, have gone mad ,,
YES prayers are a relief but I am not an angel ,,, I am human ,,, yes I keep reading the Qur'an ,,, Yes and yes ,,for many things that I do to help raise my morale and give me spiritual support and strength  but being alone here is unbearable ,,
All I want is that she recovers soon ,,, I all pray for is to do the operation and get better ,,, but who knows whether she will get better or not ,,,
Who knows what his/her destiny is ?? No one knows what will happen tomorrow ,,, I am alone scared ,,, and sometimes I feel like I will lose my mind ,,, if it wasn't for the prayers ,,,I would really have gone mad
PLEASE God help me to be stronger and have more FAITH in you ,,, to be more patient ...
PLEASE GOD help my sister to recover soon ,,,

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