Monday, March 06, 2017

Carole Samaha - Wahshani Bladi VC / كارول سماحه - وحشاني بلادي

Saudi Arabia Uncovered

Forgive & Forget

Forgiveness is not easy when one’s life or destiny is ruined by those who wrong him/her for their own benefits and interests …so is forgetting : it is very hard to forgive those who made arrangements , plans and plots just to ruin you in order to get to their goal … how about those who lie to you and deceive you only to make you believe that they act for your interest ,,,how about when your own life depends on something and they know yet they act differently ,,in an opposite direction to reach for their goals leaving you to misery and misfortune ,,, leading to your own doomed sadness ….
I have been thinking for some time about what my nearest and dearest people who have destroyed my life only to get to their goals … I was young when I had to listen to all of them EXCEPT my beloved father …may GOD bless his soul ,,,he was the only one who had a good heart and a pure soul ,,, he wanted me to have happiness and good life BUT all stood against him …and I was such a fool to believe their mean claims that they wanted my happiness and my welfare ….
Time went on and I grew up and grew older …trying to find my own way ,,,but still they were always  there taking and making decisions  to ruin me … and they succeeded in ruining my life or what is left of it ,,, I never stopped listening to them thinking they are looking for me ,,,taking care of me ,despite my intelligence – I was a silly fool who listen to my own enemies who come in the form of family ,,,,siblings ,,,,what a tragedy to be slaughtered by your own people like this .
NOW , the questions come here :
“ Do you forgive those who have hurt ,  wronged and destroyed you ? “  
“ Do you forget all their mean wrong acts ?”
My answer is surely “ NO “ in block capitals .
Why ?
Well .. because my sour and bitter situation in which I am living in now and for many years have been the outcome of their dirty deed ….
I am not an angel ,,, neither  a prophet ,,nor a saint ,,,I am a human being ,,,
What hurts me is that I have always been very kind , generous, compassionate , helpful and a benefactor to them all … may be this is why they all want to keep my good deeds ,,, they are very selfish .. mean and bad ..all they want is TAKING & TAKING till  the last day of my life ,,,never ever do they think of giving or at least stop taking ,,,,
 They say that forgiveness shows strength & I say it is not a matter of strength or weakness ... 
God doesn't forgive the sinners - otherwise there won't be hell ...
All those  nice quotes about forgiveness are meant for people who make mistakes or or twice ,,, YES , well all make mistakes BUT to RUIN one's life foe decades only to get to your BENEFITS  ; to use an innocent good heavenly creature just to get what you want ,,,that is SO MEAN ,,, it is a SIN that can't be forgiven ...
So , in the end  when I think and recall what miseries and hard times I have been through and what situation I am living in right now - I think that they are not worth forgiving ,,,on the contrary they deserve to rot in hell for their bad acts.......

I will not forgive nor forget ....








Saturday, December 17, 2016

Fake People

Fake people

To live among fake people is very hard ...it is sometimes like fighting an everlasting war ,,,eternal enemies whom you can never accept in your life yet they are there all the time ...they are like your shadows which never leave you ,,,not only in the sun ,,, but shadows of darkness ,,,, shadows with bloody nature ,,,sharp teeth and long tongues ,,,vampires ,,, devils and monsters full of evil and menace ....their souls are full of venom ... they bodies are only illusions ,,,,they are the world's worst enemies ,,, those are the liars ,,, hypocrites and users ,,,

In  my life I have seen all sorts of  bad treatments covered with flowery faces and decorated tongues full of beautiful nice language of love , tenderness and creepy lies that can never be known not even to prophesiers ...

The problem is when you are surrounded by such people who show you love but in reality it is only an appearance that does not reveal a TRUE feeling ,,, it is an alias ,,, a misleading cover ... a false paint ,,, the worst thing is that those are your own people whom you  know more than anyone else in the world you have been living ....

What will you do to stay among this situation ,,, if you leave them then you will stand all alone ,,,if you stay with them - especially if you love them and if you have  a big heart - a heart of gold .... then your misery will never end ,,, it is a very bewildering complicated situation ...


Life is full of surprises ; this is  because it is all in the hands of GOD – the Almighty Who looks for His creatures with love and mercy …. Never let them down …
Yesterday a very close old friend reminded me of how lazy I was in writing any posts for such a long time , not knowing nor legalizing that I have been through long term episodes of difficulties and hard times ….so I decided to write again …who knows , maybe one day after I pass away these posts will be of use to someone who could be going through the same experience ….
Believing in God means believing in miracles …

I DO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES because I KNOW GOD ….
Today I am going to keep whatever might light my way – in my heart – never tell a soul …because being a good innocent , decent , honest person with pure soul and gold heart , a true tongue which can never lie ….means you become a prey for all human beings of this age …
Today I promise myself to keep my private matters to myself , never share it with another person …this is because all my life I have so naïve – despite my intelligence , sharp thinking and smartness – this is because I am holding a heart of a newborn baby – without malice ; without hatred ; without jealousy ; without evil …..
ENOUGH of toxic people …Let me live the few years of my life in PEACE ….
I PRAY to the Almighty GOD that  2017 be my own year ….



Thursday, July 28, 2016

Are You A Survivor

Are You A Survivor ???

Survivors are strong people ...in fact they are the strongest ....being a survivor makes you feel that you can conquer the whole world and any war that might face you ...
I , myself , am a survivor ....and what a survivor ! ....one that has been through all sorts of wars ,,, one who has been struggling for decades .... fighting against human wars... illness wars.... material wars,,,anything that hurts , changes white into black , smile into tears, happiness into sadness,,, life into death .....in short my life has been a series of  misfortunes,,, miseries and accumulations of pain ....moreover, what hurts most is that all these toxic events  are the results of the behavior and actions of my closest and nearest people ...those who are from my own  blood and flesh !!!!

If I speak of the pain and miseries my own family have been putting me through all my life till this moment you will be so surprised and  you might not even believe it ...

The only person who was fair and good to me was my beloved father
( My God bless his soul) ... he was the angel ,,, the light ... the candle that lit my heart and my life and the only sun that still gives me warmth ... strength and power.. of course after my strong belief and faith in the Almighty God who has been providing me with the power of will to overcome all the difficulties I have been through ....

If you want to be a SURVIVOR ...all you need is FAITH in God and an idol ... someone from whom you get some strength to carry on - survive ...

Now I am all alone after I have been used and abused by all ...after everyone gets what they want ,,,they all left me to fight my battle which they have drawn me to ....

I try to forget all the bad deeds they have done to me ... I can't ... I try to forgive them ,,,, I try ....BUT I have to be careful of the bites of the wolves who are waiting around me ...






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